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A plate for everyone: Food restrictions at formals

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Having a hazelnut allergy is one of the most oddly inconvenient afflictions. Beyond the typical teasing for being an adult with a nut allergy, I’ve found that it is not even a particularly relevant allergy to have. Hazelnuts are not as ubiquitous as dairy or gluten. Nor are they rare, appearing just often enough, unpredictably, to demand constant vigilance. At Oxford, this vigilance surrounding hazelnuts is especially present at formal hall.

I am not alone. Food allergy diagnoses in the UK have doubled in a decade, as have hospital admissions for severe allergic reactions in the last twenty years. 

Formal is one of Oxford’s most cherished rituals: a carefully choreographed, multi-course dinner where students don oversized gowns (though absent at some of the more progressive colleges), Latin grace is mumbled with varying degrees of confidence, and candlelight flickers beneath the watchful gaze of portraits whose subjects might seem faintly disapproving of your conversation. Yet, for those with food allergies or dietary restrictions, the theatrical excitement of attending a formal can be overshadowed by the anxiety and pre-planned negotiation that our presence demands.

If you have never had a dietary restriction, you have probably never given much thought to what happens after you submit one. For those of us who have, it is something we think about every time we attend a formal. 

Dietary restrictions must be submitted in advance. Sometimes via a dining portal, sometimes by email, and sometimes just by tracking down the right person. The processes of submitting dietary information, nor the accommodations offered, are standardised across colleges.

As a student with an allergy, the accurate communication of that information is not a minor administrative detail – it is a matter of safety and belonging. Recently, I found myself curious about the behind-the-scenes process: how colleges receive dietary information, where and how it travels, and what care is taken to ensure that, by the time a plate lands in front of you, it is the right one.

Behind the scenes 

Alicia Gardiner, Events & Bookings Systems Manager for Kellogg College, shared that their system begins long before any student sets foot in the dining hall. Guests book and pay for formals through UPay, a platform which many – but not all – Oxford colleges use. The dietary requirements section on Kellogg’s UPay is mandatory to complete the booking. Diners must either specify a restriction or explicitly state that they have none before they can complete the booking.

According to Alicia, this small design choice has transformed the process. “If you were talking to me two years ago when I could not make that box mandatory, I found it much more stressful”, she said. Previously, guests would click past the field and then email at the last minute with a sudden recollection of a shellfish allergy or a newly observed Lent. 

From there, the process is an exercise in mindful redundancy. Two weeks before a dinner, Kellogg sends a confirmation email inviting students to update guest names or dietary requirements if needed. A few days before the meal, Alicia pulls a booking report and compiles a dietary requirement spreadsheet, which she shares with the kitchen and restaurant teams. 

It is the next step that distinguishes Kellogg’s system from other colleges: they use pre-assigned seating, plotted in a program called Perfect Table Plan

As Alicia explained: “It’s really easy to make mistakes if you don’t know where people are sitting in advance.”

Each diner with a dietary requirement is marked on the table with a colour-coded dot, signalling a different requirement to the service team. The diner’s place card will feature the dot but will not outwardly indicate the specific restriction a student has. As Alicia explained, dietary information is treated as personal information, and Kellogg has deliberately chosen not to publicise it. For example, pregnant guests may not want a card announcing this in front of their plate.  

For guest night formals, the restaurant manager designates what Alicia calls an “allergy champion” – a member of the service team responsible for every guest with a dietary requirement that evening. While the rest of the team serves the standard courses, the allergy champion moves through the hall with the seating plan in hand, locating each coloured dot, and delivering the correct plate to the right person.

On any given formal evening, Alicia estimates that somewhere between 10 and 30% of guests will have some form of dietary restriction. Some are simple, some are complex. Alicia recalled one diner who submitted a three-page Word document detailing her restrictions. However complex the requirement, Alicia was proud to share that no one leaves the hall without the right meal.

Sarah Davidson, the Communications and Events Manager at Reuben College, explained that Reuben College operates on a similar system: guests register online, dietary information is compiled into a shared spreadsheet, and place cards are marked with a yellow dot to flag modifications. The specific restriction is also noted on the place card. The key difference is seating. At Reuben, students choose their own seats on the day of the formal. As such, events staff make note at the start of each formal of where any guest with a modification is sitting, so that the kitchen can ensure they receive the correct plate. 

Sarah shared that her team is receptive to changing procedures to better accommodate the needs of any student. “If a student raises something, an issue from their side, we will see what we can do.”  One change her team is currently considering concerns the place cards themselves: “We are looking into whether on the place card, we put the dietary restrictions only on the side facing the student [with the restriction].” This would make the information not visible to the person across from the student, as it currently is. The team is considering this not because students have raised it as a concern, but as a proactive measure to further improve the experience of those with dietary restrictions. 

Of the kitchen’s ability to meet whatever request comes through, Sarah was confident: “I’ve seen a whole range of different dietary requirements or dietary preferences, and they’ve [the kitchen] never not been able to accommodate those.” 

Richard Murphy, Catering Services Manager at Exeter College, echoed the value of UPay as an organising tool. “UPay is really good. Probably about half the colleges use it”, he noted. “As far as dietary requirements and allergies [it] does a lot of the work for us.” Exeter uses a free-text box for more unusual or complex requirements – Richard used a celery allergy as an example. This ensures that nothing falls through the cracks for students with less common restrictions.

When a student with a restriction arrives at formal at Exeter, their requirements are flagged automatically by the UPay system upon check-in, and they collect a ‘dietary card’ from the Hall supervisor. On most evenings, the system runs effectively from here. “If something does happen on the night of, we can then adjust.” Richard explained that this might look like a student clicking the wrong allergen box or misreading a menu. He notes, however, that this is rare. 

Richard closed by stating: “The main point is that as long as students are upfront and honest about their requirements, most things can be achieved.” 

At Queen’s College, Sean Ducie, Head Chef, shared that “accommodating dietary requirements is a major priority for us, and we work hard to ensure that our formal hall menus are inclusive, safe, and enjoyable for all students.” 

At the menu design stage itself, the College takes a proactive approach. Sean explained: “When designing our menus, we focus on seasonal, local produce, and work closely with Good Food Oxfordshire and OxFarmtoFork to bring in produce directly from market gardens and small city farms. This allows us to offer fresh, diverse dishes while supporting local growers,” Sean noted, “alongside this, we aim to keep menus as naturally low‑allergen as possible.” The goal, he added, is to provide “an allergen‑free version of a dish that feels as close as possible to the original, so that no student feels like their meal is an afterthought.”

The other side of the place card 

The systems colleges put in place tell part of the story. The students with yellow dots on their place cards tell the rest. 

Psychologists and allergists have identified two primary types of anxiety that food allergy sufferers experience: anxiety about eating the allergen, and anxiety related to the social experience of having one. In the highly ritualised and formalised context of an Oxford formal, these pressures are amplified. Questioning a server mid-course can draw attention and disrupt the choreography of a meal. The anxiety is not merely about what is on the plate, but about what it means to be the one to have to ask.

Green Templeton College is frequently described as having one of Oxford’s best (and most expensive) formals. That cost, some students argue, buys a more considered approach to dietary accommodations.

During Michaelmas term, I was surprised to receive an email from Green Templeton’s dining staff asking me to clarify which nuts I could eat, as chestnuts were on the menu for a Christmas formal I was attending. The gesture was small, but it surprised me. It did not feel like an exercise in compliance. Instead, I felt confident that someone had actually read what I had submitted and taken the time to respond with care and precision. When I walked into the formal, I was confident that I could enjoy good food and company without anxiety or embarrassment.  

Nandini, a vegetarian student at Green Templeton, found the college’s approach to accommodations generally impressive. She told Cherwell: “I genuinely find the vegetarian food at Green Templeton better than other colleges. For formals, since the expectation is just to have a nice meal, which doesn’t necessarily have to be healthy, I am usually more satisfied.”

Not all experiences at Green Templeton were as encouraging. Alina, a student who observes a halal diet, told Cherwell: “At Green Templeton, I’d say it’s pretty disappointing. I always put down halal, but normally get served a vegetarian meal, presumably that’s what happens if they aren’t going to do halal on a specific day. The only time I’ve had halal at Green Templeton is on a special guest night.”

Alina had a further concern: “I was served a vegetarian meal once, which the menu said had alcohol in it, which Muslims can’t have either. After a bit of back and forth, they confirmed that the version they served me was vegetarian and non-alcoholic, but that was a bit of a panic for me.”

Trinity College has also been reported as accommodating. Heewoon, a student at Trinity who does not eat fish, told Cherwell: “My college is very respectful about dietary requirements compared to other colleges, with multiple options.”

Abdullah, a Trinity student who observes a halal diet, told Cherwell his experience dining at Trinity has been “thoroughly pleasant,” praising the consistency, variety, and quality of halal options. He noted that even the vegan options proved generally agreeable, adding: “Trinity College strives to be inclusive of all students enrolled here. As a natural extension of that ethos, the dining experience reflects this commitment.”

At Balliol College, Alina found that although the alternative offered was a convincing vegan recreation of the meat dish served to others, the service itself revealed the system’s imperfections. After some initial confusion over which plate was hers, a server returned to confirm the dish was halal. Reflecting on the experience, Alina told Cherwell: “It was probably a reminder for them to pay a little more attention while they’re serving.” 

At Cambridge, Hannah Mawardi, a student at Pembroke College writing for Varsity in 2024, recounted being served sesame – her allergen – three times, despite notifying catering staff of her serious allergy. The third incident ended with her in A&E, still donning her gown. She noted that she had later learned that catering had received the wrong dietary information entirely. 

Whether at Oxford or Cambridge, the safety of participating in formal hall depends on the accurate communication of dietary requirements across multiple levels: when that transmission falters, the consequences can be life-threatening. 

The small print  

When contacted for comment, the University of Oxford stated that food allergy policies are set by the respective colleges rather than centrally and, therefore, the University does not provide university-wide guidance. 

Natasha’s Law requires UK businesses to label or inform customers about the top 14 allergens, and all Oxford colleges must adhere to this legislation. This information is often on clear display at lunches and in buffet formats, but can be harder to trace at formal hall, where menus are not always distributed in advance – especially not to guests from outside the college. 

Practical challenges compound this uncertainty. At colleges without assigned formal seating, students with allergies and dietary restrictions are often given simple place cards on arrival to place near their plate, indicating their needs. In theory, it is a simple system; in practice, when servers move quickly through a candlelit hall, plates arrive with little explanation. It can be remarkably difficult to tell whether the dish that has landed in front of you has been modified to your needs or is simply the standard meal. 

A seat at the table 

Some colleges are rising to this challenge: consider Kellogg’s allergy champions, Reuben’s proactive problem-solving, Green Templeton’s thoughtful emails, and Trinity’s consistent halal options. These are not novel innovations, but they make a real difference to diners with dietary restrictions. With food allergy policy set at college level, the problem is that such practices are not always shared or standardised.  

Food is more than just sustenance. It is connection. It is culture. At Oxford, it is a central part of student social life. Inclusion does not end at being allowed into the hall. It requires that, once inside, every student has the same opportunity to participate. For students with food allergies and restrictions like myself, this principle is tested three courses at a time.



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Student Life

The Problem with Nolan’s ‘Odyssey’

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Anyone who has been within earshot of me whenever the terms ‘Odyssey’ and ‘Christopher Nolan’ have been mentioned during the past few months would know my strong opinions about the costuming, colour grading, casting and language choices dominant in the trailer. In the run-up to the film, classicists I have spoken to at Oxford seem to be divided into two camps: those who are like me, cynical and decrying the modern depreciation of the classics. Then there are those who call us purists and snobs, and say that Nolan is merely participating in the long-standing oral tradition that has always interpreted and adapted forms of storytelling, as Homer intended. So what’s the verdict?

Despite the trailers, I was surprised at the full extent to which Nolan leaned into the set design. Stark and devoid of colour, Troy has white pillars, statues, and temples. All of this looks like it was built in a lab – the set looks like a set. It is incongruent with the ancient Greece that has long been established by researchers, where people wore vibrant, patterned peploi, and the statues were painted in bright colours. Instead, Nolan’s Greek cities and kingdoms resemble the inaccurate remnants seen under the sterile lens of a curated museum collection. This feels thematically deliberate, and therefore brilliant. Moments of magic are downplayed – ironic, since the film’s opening card sets it ‘in a time of apparent magic’. Lacking the ‘glimmer’ of magic, the transformation of Odysseus’ men into pigs becomes one of the most grotesque and viscerally disturbing sequences in the film.

This also makes pops of colour, what we regard as ‘signs of life’, perversely memorable – Agamemnon’s stark black helmet plume with its mechanical golden vertebrae becomes recognisable from a distance, and terrifying against the bright white of the city he is about to destroy. The opening shot of the Trojan horse half-buried in sand, cutting a bronze diagonal across the too-white beach and the too-dim sea is emblematic of Nolan’s choice of set and costume design, almost backrooms-like in its struggle to reconstruct memory. The visual language of the film translates itself to something on the verge of collapse, which ties in neatly with the overarching theme.

And memory is important here. The film’s episodic structure reflects how Odysseus’ memories gradually come back to him on Calypso’s island, having long repressed them due to trauma. This is, in my opinion, one of the bigger points of reinvention that I actually don’t mind. Through the bard figure, hilariously performed by Travis Scott, Nolan shows an awareness of the weight this story carries within a long-standing oral tradition. The original text is itself already highly meta: a story that focuses on storytelling as an active act of remembrance, and attempts to translate the story as ‘live performance’ of stories within stories.

The film’s treatment of gods also relates to memory, specifically through Athena, the only ‘goddess’ who appears in physical form and stays constantly by Odysseus’ side. The reveal that she takes the face of the priestess beheaded at the Temple of Athena during the sack of Troy is haunting, while simultaneously making me insane with joy, because Nolan has managed to visualise the very human way the mortals relate to the divine. Athena shows up as the only god Odysseus can put a face to because her face is a manifestation of his guilt and grief. Despite the multiple invocations of the other gods in turning points of life and death by Odysseus’ men, most prominently Poseidon and Zeus, they remain silent. Is this representative of the perversion of the divine-human relationship, broken forever due to the Trojan War?

However, the film’s semi-atheistic outlook translates to something confusing and inconsistent. It cannot decide how much moral responsibility its characters actually have. The film’s tagline is ‘defy the gods’, and through the film this is framed as a condemnation – the defiance of the laws between men is a defiance of the gods. Yet a line from Athena at the start of the film, when Odysseus is still on Calypso’s island, throws a spanner into this moral, where Athena disparages Odysseus for taking full responsibility for what is already fated and inevitable. The implication here is that she condemns him for being almost hubristic in his urge to constantly assume full responsibility for the loss of other lives, when the gods have already decreed that they were bound to die. Such a bold statement never really gets resolved, and the scene in the Underworld, where Teiresias once again emphasises that there is nothing Odysseus can do to prevent his entire crew dying because he ‘cannot save them from themselves ’, deepens this problem.

In Homeric epic, the gods, Fate, and free will toe a very fine line. The gods do intervene, but human motivation and human choice always come first in narrative terms. There are many moments where mortals blame the gods within the poem, and none of these positions are justified in Homeric theology. So when Odysseus laments that Zeus made him fall asleep while his men ate Helios’ cattle, the audience is not meant to sympathise with his argument that this therefore makes him blameless – it can be an expression of frustration that the god has not helped him, or the confusing incomprehensibility of the gods (which Nolan also emphasises), but it does not mean Odysseus is free of the responsibility of his choice. Characters’ freedom to make choices is integral to driving the plot and characterisation forward, and yet Nolan fails to make clear the explicit chain of human cause and effect between the plunder and massacre Odysseus and his men conducted at Troy and the disastrous journey home. This leads to interpretations that the whole action of the film is simply the gods’ decree, and Nolan risks diluting his moral message.

This confusion ultimately boils down to where the film suffers the most – the overt sanitisation of Odysseus’ character.  Throughout the film, Odysseus’ eyes are those we look through to judge the events of the Trojan War, the journey, and most of the narrative – the audience is inclined to sympathise with him, and having suffered the repercussions of his actions in the Trojan War, he becomes the plausible mouthpiece for Nolan’s message, the righteous avenger against the suitors who violated Zeus’ law first. But as the film repeats the shot of Odysseus staring out as he leans against the marble staircase at Troy, watching the priestess’ head get cut off, I cannot help but wonder – why is Odysseus so special? What makes Odysseus so much better that he is singled out by the gods to return home, and the rest of his men do not, when their actions have been so similar? If that moment where he watches the destruction of Athena’s temple is meant to be his epiphany, why does he carry on to burn down the first island he sees? Nolan has simplified Odysseus so much throughout the film that any straying away from virtue lands oddly instead of adding nuance. Emily Wilson is right: Nolan has written a very uncomplicated man indeed.

Homer, however, never hides how Odysseus is, in many ways, an incompetent leader, and most of the disastrous journey can be attributed to Odysseus’ bad judgement or arrogance. One famous example is the Cyclops episode, where after he and his remaining men successfully leave, Odysseus shouts back into the cave his name, his father’s name, and the destination he is heading to, entirely unnecessary apart from establishing glory for himself. Essentially, Homer establishes clear cause and effect (how Odysseus’ poor choices lead to the downfall of his men), and this elevates narrative significance when he does make the correct choices. Odysseus is not a character who can become a noble, simple character while retaining the same story beats. He is polutropos, a man of many ways – the complexity of his journey home reflects the complexity of the man. Dropping his incriminating story beats makes Odysseus more likeable, but the result is inconsistent characterisation, as well as a lack of character depth. Nolan’s version of Odysseus is unrecognisable when compared to Homer’s, who is cunning, flawed, and subtle.

The other issue with Nolan’s insistence on Odysseus’ nobility: it comes at a cost to the depth of other characters too, especially the women around him, and this is most evident in Penelope. Homer’s Penelope is Odysseus’ narrative parallel, and Book 23 is, in epic terms, Penelope’s aristea, her big ‘heroic’ moment, where she tests the reality of Odysseus’ identity by asking her handmaiden to move her bed, and waits for Odysseus to refute it because only her husband should know that it is immovable. Only then does she relent and greet Odysseus. There is much scholarly debate that Penelope had recognised him much earlier than Book 23, adding to the complexity that she may have been planning the exact type of contest that would benefit Odysseus ever since she saw him in disguise. The bed scene is left out entirely in Nolan’s film, and there is also no nuance as to when Penelope finally does recognise Odysseus.

Nolan also makes the mistake of telling rather than showing when Penelope screams at Telemachus that she has been ruling Ithaca for years and that it is about to be taken away from her male heir. Yet from an audience’s perspective, she isn’t doing much ruling, as all we see of her in the film is her crying and pining away for Odysseus. Even the scene where it is revealed that she has been taking apart the shroud every evening, her overarching line of characterisation throughout the story, is overshadowed by the strange scene where she almost caves to Antinous’ advances – stranger still, because at no point in Homer’s story does Penelope even remotely entertain him. Her complexity becomes less of a point of attention because her parallel character, Odysseus, is also not stepping up to the narrative depth game. In the poem, Odysseus and Penelope work since although they occupy very different spheres of movement and gender roles, they still mirror each other. Nolan’s Penelope falling flat is especially fatal because she has no ‘action’ to rectify or distract from it, unlike Odysseus.

In general, I think I liked the film a lot when I was watching the credits roll. It is a spectacle, and despite knowing the exact story beats of the plot, the escape from Polyphemus and the harrowing flashes of the storm still had me on the edge of my seat. Odysseus’ final stringing of his bow still almost brought tears to my eyes. And much of it for me is that there is clear love shown in the stunning visual and musical language to deliver those emotional beats, and in a very meta way, I love that this much is devoted to a subject that I have spent many years loving and studying, and seeing a work from so long ago come alive on the modern screen.

I also mourn the fact that this may be the only version of The Odyssey that a modern audience will see in their lifetime. To me, Homeric epic has withstood the test of time not only because of a flashy plotline, but because it is, at its core, a story that contains the scattering multitude of human experience and complexity – to return home as a complicated, flawed individual to a complicated, flawed community, and finding love anyway. For that to hold, the characters cannot all feel universal, and that is unfortunately what Nolan tried to narrow down with his characterisation and theology. I just wish that I could point to a moment throughout the film where I leapt for joy that Nolan understood the character, their motivations, and why some things are important for the story to keep. I wish I was actually watching the Odysseus I love to hate, and the Penelope that mirrored him in all the strangest ways. 

Nolan had all the tools for greatness. Instead, to my eternal frustration, his Odyssey will always only be just alright.



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A beginner’s guide to being an amateur

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When I was seven, my grandma decided I was going to be a pianist. For the next twelve years, I sat through weekly piano lessons, despite a complete absence of enthusiasm for the instrument. Long after my grandma informed me that I was not, in fact, going to be a pianist, but rather a lawyer, I carried on these lessons. My goal was not enjoyment, but that treasure of infinitely greater value: a grade eight certificate.  

What teenage me didn’t understand was the value of putting time and effort into something non-productive, purely for the sheer joy of it.  I’ve heard people complaining that they don’t know how to relax, and the advice given in response is always that they’re lacking hobbies, that if they pick up a new interest their free time will become fulfilling and restorative. However, I think that what this fails to acknowledge is that it’s not simply a case of acquiring any old hobby. Our aim should be to find a genuine source of enjoyment, rather than a new avenue through which to seek validation.

We’re well into August now, the summer vacation stretching out both behind and ahead of us. While you’ve got a bit of time on your hands (Michaelmas pre-reading is a September problem), this is the perfect opportunity to ditch productivity and perfectionism, and instead, embrace the art of being an amateur. 

Amateur, a word often used as an insult, comes from the Latin verb amare, meaning ‘to love’. ‘Amateur’ in its modern form stems from the French word for ‘one who loves’. To be an amateur in the literal sense, therefore, isn’t about an absence of skill, or experience, but rather doing something for the sake of passion, and without profit. 

So what might doing something just for the love of it look like? This is an impossible question – the answer will look different for everyone, and will vary across different phases of your life. But the central idea is that whatever you’re doing, you’re not doing it for the sake of gaining something else. You might learn an instrument without taking graded exams, or maybe you want to write terrible notes app poetry that you will never show to anyone. Or perhaps what really calls your name is turning bottle corks into life-size models of the wildlife of the West Midlands. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but you. 

If there’s one thing we’re all familiar with as Oxford students, it’s the constant pressure to be ‘LinkedIn warriors’ and build up an impressive array of things to put on a CV. It seems even the much-coveted summer internship isn’t enough – you also need a hobby with tangible achievements that confirm your status as a strategic, results-driven team player. Activities that boost your employability are undoubtedly important, but they are not a substitute for doing the things you truly love. 

Around the time my grandma accepted that I was not destined for piano greatness, I joined a choir. I would love to tell you I joined purely for the love of it, but this would be a lie – I joined because my older sister had. However, after the first couple of months, I found myself hooked. The feeling of hitting that high note, perfecting that one impossible harmony, was a far cry from anything I’d felt playing the piano. I didn’t take singing exams, I never went for solos. And of all the hobbies I’ve taken up in my life, choir is the one I always return to. 

Let’s be honest, how many of us genuinely make an effort to try new things on a regular basis? It’s intimidating – it involves accepting that you will not be good at something, that the most you can hope for is ‘good for a beginner’, which is never much of a compliment. Perfectionism is not an easy thing to kick. And though it can be useful in many situations, it can also be very effective in holding you back for fear of failure. This is where the amateur thesis comes in. If you are doing something for the love of it, then the act of doing is enough. It doesn’t need to be perfect, so there’s really no way to fail. 

I think we can all agree that our culture is obsessed with productivity. Many of us now find the idea of doing nothing far from relaxing, and it’s sometimes even downright uncomfortable. With weekly essay deadlines, and a constant sense that you’ve forgotten something, the fear of time wasted creeps into every part of life at Oxford. Is it any wonder that committing time to being an amateur isn’t something that comes naturally to us? Maybe this speaks to a wider issue: a disinclination to see our own immediate happiness as a valid goal.

Through building up hobbies that give us joy rather than measurable achievement, we cultivate self-validation. As human beings, we are very good at outsourcing our need for validation. This is especially true in the age of social media, where you can build an image of the great life you’re leading, regardless of whether or not it’s true to reality. What if we tried to practice self-validation instead? What if your joy was an end in itself, regardless of whether or not other people knew, understood, or were impressed? By treating our own independent interests as something valuable, without seeking external confirmation of that value, we are, in turn, treating ourselves as worthy of effort. In our pursuit of confidence and self-esteem, this is surely a crucial practice. 

My grandma and grandad were two very different people. While my grandma was the kind of person who’d lovingly (but firmly) encourage me to chase the validation of the music examination board, my grandad was never happier than when he was with his beloved pigeons. He had names for the clans (what he called the different colours and patterns), and no one was allowed to feed them but him. No one else understood, and no one else had to. He was an amateur pigeon-feeder, doing it purely for the love of it.



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The hypocrisy of aestheticised wilderness

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We seem to have been locked in an eternal attempt at domination over nature for millennia. My recent trip to Thailand shifted this into clear focus: perhaps the attempt was never really about humans over nature. Perhaps it was humans versus anything that refuses to behave itself.

When I was in Thailand, I saw signs telling tourists not to anger, feed, touch or otherwise harass the animals. Sensible enough. Yet tourists, and occasionally locals, still seem determined to test the boundaries.

I watched a pig bite down on a plastic water bottle handed to it by a boy on holiday. The pig squealed and fought back when the boy tried to pick it up. He dropped it. I felt shocked and unnerved at his behaviour, but clearly I could not intervene; it was not my place, and his family was there.

And there it was: an acute example of our relationship with nature in miniature. We like animals right up until they stop being cute.

The pig had not suddenly become aggressive for no reason. A teenager had put a plastic bottle in its mouth, invaded its space and then tried to grab it. It reacted like an animal. Yet somehow the animal becomes the villain: ungrateful, dangerous, and stupid. We are remarkably good at creating the conditions for conflict and then blaming nature for responding to them.

The double standard becomes even stranger when we compare animals with humans. When a person causes harm because they ‘didn’t know any better’, we often regard that as an extenuating circumstance. With animals, ignorance is rarely afforded the same generosity. An animal trapped in a man-made environment can respond according to instinct and still be punished as though it possesses the same understanding and intentions as a human being.

And before anyone reaches for the familiar argument that humans are more intelligent, we should be careful about confusing intelligence with moral entitlement. Being clever enough to build skyscrapers, develop financial markets, and create nuclear weapons certainly does not give us a sense of moral superiority over the natural world. We cheat, lie, and steal, and are not the perfect paragons of morality we assume ourselves to be. Besides, anyone who has watched five minutes of reality TV anywhere in the world might want to reconsider how confidently we use ‘intelligence’ as our species’ trump card.

The more interesting problem is what happens when humans’ supposed love of nature meets modern consumer culture. We don’t simply want nature; we want nature packaged for consumption.

Our consumerist tendencies towards nature are best seen through the ‘cottagecore’ trend: curated hiking trails, luxury eco-resorts, wellness retreats, and the endless Instagramming of supposedly untouched landscapes. Nature is wonderful, as long as it is photogenic, accessible, and preferably equipped with decent Wi-Fi.

This is the deception of capitalist aesthetics. We take something wild, unpredictable, and inconvenient and remove the parts we dislike before giving it attractive branding and selling it as an authentic experience.

Nature, but with a convenient booking link. Mud is no longer mud; it is an obstacle on the hiking trail. Insects are not part of an ecosystem; they are pests. Decay is not part of nature’s cycle; it is something to clean up. And an animal behaving like an animal is an affront to our sanitised version of nature. Thailand makes this contradiction particularly visible. Islands are marketed as pristine escapes while motorways and industrial-scale ferries help move ever-growing numbers of people towards these supposedly untouched places. Humans want wilderness – but we also want convenient infrastructure capable of delivering us directly to it. Ideally, between 10 am and 4 pm, with a return transfer.

Our environmentalism therefore has a surprisingly low tolerance for actual nature. As soon as it contradicts our perfect reality, with biting animals, unbearable heat, or a lack of creature comforts, we turn against it. This reveals something deeper than hypocrisy; it reveals our obsession with control.

We have spent centuries trying to place ourselves above the natural world rather than recognising that we are embedded within it. We pave it, fence it, landscape it, label it, and commodify it. We make it predictable enough to enjoy and tame enough not to frighten us, because genuine nature is volatile. It grows where we don’t want it to grow. It dies, rots, bites, floods, escapes, and refuses to care about our schedules, property boundaries, or aesthetic preferences. This is precisely what makes it frightening.

The fantasy of the sovereign human depends on believing that we exist outside of nature and are capable of mastering it. But this is not the case. We are animals who build unusually elaborate buildings and maintain an impressive capacity for self-delusion. The pig did not violate some sacred contract with humanity when it bit the bottle; it simply behaved like a pig.

Perhaps the lesson is not that nature needs to be taught how to live alongside us. Perhaps we need to learn how to live alongside something we cannot completely control. Does the responsibility not lie with humanity to learn to live alongside the uncontrollable force of nature rather than vice versa? The battle was never between humans and nature. It was humans versus our own arrogance, the desire to dominate, sanitise, and commodify a world that we are terrified to admit we never truly controlled in the first place.



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