It all began at the Royal Academy. I was trying – and mostly failing – to look at epic, inventive paintings by Kerry James Marshall. My toddler was trying – and mostly failing – to career around the gallery spaces without colliding with anybody’s legs. As he hurled his toy pig, bowling ball-style, beneath one of the low, string barriers installed to keep a safe distance between us and the canvases, it got me thinking: are small children and art compatible? Was it selfish of me to have chosen the RA over, say, the Young V&A? What could I do to make gallery-going a happy and stress-free experience for us both?

These are just a few of the questions I hope to answer over the course of this series, which will explore the delights and dangers (just imagine if one of piggy’s trotters had pierced a KJM) of introducing knee-height people to art. Over the coming weeks, I’ll be visiting galleries, museums, immersive exhibitions and sculpture parks with my toddler – some aimed at him, others … well, aimed at me. Along the way I’ll share my thoughts, his reactions, key strategies and notes on buggy access, child-friendly menus, entrance fees and changing facilities.

According to research commissioned by Art Fund in 2024, 92% of parents in the UK believe that visiting a museum or gallery is beneficial for their children. Yet 45% consider some hushed halls to be unwelcoming to kids, and 68% have felt judged for bringing them. Just over half of the parents surveyed worry their children would run around and potentially damage something.

I get it. Just the other day I was told – and I really was told – to hold my son’s hand in a museum, which I did, before the tiny, squirmy hand inevitably wriggled free. One friend ditched a video installation for which she’d bought a ticket after a man moaned that her young child was disturbing him. Another described a recent trip to Tate Britain with her own hard-to-wrangle toddler as a high-intensity workout.

The question, then: is the niggling worry, the possible embarrassment, the physical torture, the downright fear really worth it?

Yes! I think. I hope. And not just because I want to spend time with art – and, on the days when I don’t have childcare, where I go, my son comes, too. It’s true that, on a purely selfish level, I prefer paintings to stay-and-plays, and that I don’t feel entirely relaxed in rackety play cafes. I’ll admit I’m not a joiner – poor child, you might be thinking, for the love of god take the boy to rhyme time! But checking out the art on offer across the country is just as enjoyable for him, and heaps more enjoyable for me.

It’s important to me that he feels at home in our national institutions, which, by the way, are often free. Research shows that if you visit a museum with your family as a child, you’re more likely to become a long-term visitor. And then there are the benefits to learning, mental health and wellbeing.

Thankfully, things have changed since former Guardian columnist Dea Birkett and her twins were shown the exit at the RA after one of them screamed with delight “Monster! Monster” at an Aztec sculpture 20-odd years ago.

“I thought I was the cleverest woman in the world,” she tells me. “Here I was with a two-year-old appreciating pre-Hispanic art. So, I bent down to say ‘yes, yes, it’s just like a monster’, then a gallery assistant asked us to leave because we were being too noisy.” The experience led her to establish Kids in Museums, a charity dedicated to making cultural organisations more welcoming for families.

Historically, museums might have been places of quiet contemplation and static displays. But more and more now cater to children – particularly under-fives, who, with their adults, make up a large part of the midweek audience. Last year, Brighton & Hove Museums collaborated with Sussex Baby Lab to create a trail based on eye-tracking technology and headcams, which revealed what infants were most drawn to during cultural visits. And Dulwich Picture Gallery in London opened a new ArtPlay Pavilion – the centrepiece of a £5m renovation – furnished with bridges and swings inspired by paintings in its collection.

Off the back of its 2024 research, Art Fund launched Kids Aloud, a scheme that encourages children to visit museums and galleries, and, during two-hour slots, be as lively as they like. Look up your local and I bet there will be a kiddy-focused offering. After a quick Google search, I have a long list that includes Art Baby at the Whitworth in Manchester, Toddle Tours at MK Gallery in Milton Keynes, and Art Rebels at Turner Contemporary in Margate.

The trouble is, do I want something kiddy-focused, or do I want to simply bring my son with me to an exhibition I’ve been longing to see? Am I after education or entertainment or both? What happens when we leave the iPad behind, only to encounter art on a screen? Is an outdoor sculpture park the answer to a day of art that’s free from constant cajoling and scooping? And, speaking of which, how on earth can we plan for the fact that small children are entirely unpredictable?

Back at the RA, I sheepishly told the nearest gallery attendant about the toy pig, cordoned off behind the string. I wanted to tell him that, as well as a mum, I’m an art critic. I didn’t.

He followed me across the polished wood floor before kneeling down to peer into one of the metal grills (my son loves to dance on those) and regretfully inform me he wasn’t sure how to retrieve it.

“Not there,” I said. “There.” I pointed towards the base of the painting behind him, mercifully unharmed.

“Oh, you can get it,” he replied. “Those strings are just for show.”

Top tips for survival when visiting a gallery or museum with a small child

Snacks, lots of snacks

Time it well (bear in mind naps, meal times, rush hour – you name it)